Saturday, 1 September 2018

Hello September

I have been staring at my laptop screen for exactly fifty-two minutes and I still have no clue how to start this blog post. I've been sat here wondering how I can word things without it upsetting certain people but instead of holding anything back I'm gonna be completely honest, truthful and real.

If you've read my recent "Lechya Da Nan" blog post you'll know my amazing, beautiful Nan passed away on Sunday 22nd July 2018 at 12.20am. I feel like my heart and my whole world broke that day. 

I spent the whole of August living in a blur, numb life that I didn't want and I know my Nan wouldn't want for me. Don't get me wrong I have had the best support system around me I could ask for but none of the people around me have been able to bring my Nan back. 

If someone would have told me this time last year that my Nan would no longer be with me, I would have told them to fuck off and not believed them at all. Anyone who knew my Nan will know that she was the toughest, most amazing, incredibly strong woman going so to see her deteriorate over the of months and then leave us all has been heartbreaking beyond belief. My Nan died of cancer, and it happened so quickly that none of seen it coming and we still can't believe how fast it has taken her away from us.

In memory of my beautiful Nan, I held a MacMillan Coffee Morning at my home last weekend with all of my Nan's favourite people so I will be doing a blog post all about that coming soon, but for now, you can check my instagram for pictures of the day.

My Nans funeral was held the day before my 30th birthday so as you can imagine I didn't really want to do anything to celebrate my birthday as I wasn't in the mood, but my amazing parents put together a really wonderful mini party for me with just some close family members and they decorated the house so beautifully. I really can't thank them enough for it all!

I wanted to end by saying a quick sorry and thank you to all of the people who have gotten in touch with me that I haven't replied to. I'm trying to work my way through emails and messages and will get back to everyone as soon as I am able to do so. It does mean a lot to me that people have taken the time to send me a message saying that they're thinking of me, I love you all for it.

With love, Alisha Valerie. x

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  1. Oh Alisha I am so sorry to hear this! Family is such a precious thing and when someone close to us dies, it is a horrible thing. Cancer is such a horrible disease and I wish we could all fight it. It sounds like you've got some great people supporting you also I love what your parents did that's such a nice gesture.

    Gemma |

  2. I'm so sorry for your loss lovely, we lost my Grandad nearly a year ago now and that was to cancer, that also happened really fast like one minute he was going to hospital for a few tests and a few weeks later he'd gone. My grandad was one of my best friends so I completely understand what you're going through right now and you might not believe me I know I didn't when people told me but I promise you it will get easier. You'll still think about her everyday but it won't be as painful and you'll be able to remember the happy times!

    Jess //

  3. I'm so sorry to hear your news. Cancer is a horrific disease, I wish no one had to go through it. x

  4. So sorry to hear of your loss! Hope you had a god birthday x

  5. What a lovely thing your parents did for your birthday even though they were undoubtedly going through an incredibly tough time too. Family is so important during tough times like that.


  6. I'm so sorry for your loss! Losing a grandparent is never easy x

  7. I'm sure your nan would be so proud of you Alisha. To have the strength to hold a charity fundraiser so soon after just shows how brave you are. It's so awful when something like this happens, especially close to other significant events (my gran died the day before my birthday) but it's lovely that your parents made such an effort for your birthday. Sending you lots of love xx
    Beth x Adventure & Anxiety

  8. Looks like your family tried to make it special for you in difficult circumstances! Your nan would be proud of you for holding a fundraiser!

    Love, Amie ❤
    The Curvaceous Vegan

  9. I'm so sorry to hear about your Nan, Alisha! She sounds like an incredibly strong and special woman who will be missed by everyone around her! You will remember her forever and she will live on in your heart! Giving back through your Macmillan coffee morning is a wonderful way to honour her! I'm glad that your family still made so much effort for your birthday, it's what your Nan would have wanted! 💙

    Abbey xx

  10. So sorry to hear about your nan <3

  11. sorry to hear about your NAN. i love that your family spoiled you with decorations and a celebration.

    joy at The Joyous Living

  12. I'm so sorry for your loss. It's very difficult losing a loved one x

  13. So sorry for your loss but it looks like your parents threw you a wonderful party and hopefully you had a lovely day with loved ones after a tough time!
    Kate x

  14. Condolences to you and your family! Such a wonderful thing you hosted and so lovely for your parents to throw you a party with your loved ones! All the best!

    Jessica & James | /

  15. Sweetie I really hope September is a better month for you, and again I’m so sorry for your loss ❤️

  16. Losing someone you love is the worst feeling. I hope the rest of your year is a little better :)

    Tea in the Tub

  17. So sorry for your loss :( I know how it feels. Hope things are looking up now lovely, she'd be so proud of you. I know it doesn't get easier xx

  18. So sorry for your loss Alisha xx

  19. I'm so sorry for your loss sweet - but how lovely that you held a fundraiser for her! She'd be so proud! xo
    Sian |

  20. I'm so sorry for your loss, but lovely that your family celebrated your birthday.

    Amy |

  21. I love the fact you held a Macmillan coffee morning in memory of your nan, what a lovely thing to do. Im so sorry for your loss

    Tasha x