I have been staring at my laptop screen for exactly fifty-two minutes and I still have no clue how to start this blog post. I've been sat here wondering how I can word things without it upsetting certain people but instead of holding anything back I'm gonna be completely honest, truthful and real.
If you've read my recent "Lechya Da Nan" blog post you'll know my amazing, beautiful Nan passed away on Sunday 22nd July 2018 at 12.20am. I feel like my heart and my whole world broke that day.
I spent the whole of August living in a blur, numb life that I didn't want and I know my Nan wouldn't want for me. Don't get me wrong I have had the best support system around me I could ask for but none of the people around me have been able to bring my Nan back.
If someone would have told me this time last year that my Nan would no longer be with me, I would have told them to fuck off and not believed them at all. Anyone who knew my Nan will know that she was the toughest, most amazing, incredibly strong woman going so to see her deteriorate over the of months and then leave us all has been heartbreaking beyond belief. My Nan died of cancer, and it happened so quickly that none of seen it coming and we still can't believe how fast it has taken her away from us.
In memory of my beautiful Nan, I held a MacMillan Coffee Morning at my home last weekend with all of my Nan's favourite people so I will be doing a blog post all about that coming soon, but for now, you can check my instagram for pictures of the day.
My Nans funeral was held the day before my 30th birthday so as you can imagine I didn't really want to do anything to celebrate my birthday as I wasn't in the mood, but my amazing parents put together a really wonderful mini party for me with just some close family members and they decorated the house so beautifully. I really can't thank them enough for it all!
I wanted to end by saying a quick sorry and thank you to all of the people who have gotten in touch with me that I haven't replied to. I'm trying to work my way through emails and messages and will get back to everyone as soon as I am able to do so. It does mean a lot to me that people have taken the time to send me a message saying that they're thinking of me, I love you all for it.